by Erik Dolson
The election is over. Really! Flim-flam man has not conceded, but he never will. He’s building a new career out of being wronged.
Still, he lost, thank God. A toast is in order! I’d like to raise my glass to old lefties, new liberals, the progressives, and especially to Black women who did phenomenal work. All of you. What a fantastic job!
Not so fast, Antifa, burners and looters: Fuck you. That’s all you get. I don’t have to explain.
To their enablers, you dishwater drinkers, your tolerance of outrageous behavior cripples America. Defund the police? Defending the indefensible makes you irrelevant.
Now that I think about it, Liberals, the only reason Donald Trump was President of the United States for the last four years, and came this close to being president for another four, is that more than half the country does not want what you have to offer.
Why can’t you figure that out?
You barely beat Trump and couldn’t beat Mitch McConnell, who will lead the Senate with that hideous smirk long after he’s dead, stripping health care from millions of Americans and giving billions to the insurance industry. Lindsey Graham will flop about like the gelatinous half-man he is, denying he said what just came out of his mouth and looking to borrow a spine. Ted Cruz will finally figure out how to sell your social security and health care to the highest bidder in exchange for Ultimate Power.
They’ll have this power because you Liberals want to force a conservative Christian to bake a cake celebrating a gay marriage he believes is against the will of God; because you think free college is better than kids just getting a job (refunds to those of us who actually paid for college?) and because financial reparations for 140 year-old injustices are not something most Americans think they owe.
Let’s look at some numbers, provided by the Associated Press as I write this. Biden received 79,585,509 votes, Trump received 73,647,084. Together, those total 153,232,593 votes (we’re ignoring subtleties, here). This means that Biden won by 5,938,425 votes, or 4 percent.
Let’s pretend we’re in a high school gym with 100 of us inside. Trumpistas are wearing red hats and all gather on the right side of the gym, facing the stage. There are 48 of them. They’re loud and unruly, as usual.
Liberals, wearing blue hats, gather earnestly on the left side. There are … wait. How many are there? Who are those people left in the middle? Why aren’t they wearing hats?
Those folks are the reason Trump lost. They are those who just couldn’t stand Trump any longer! Their vote against Trump was not a vote for Biden/Harris. There are more than 3 million of them. Switch their vote and you would have lost!
What this means is that your identity politics does not have support from even close to half of those who voted. What does that tell you about what you have to say!?
The argument offered by Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez, that candidates who campaigned on progressive ideas didn’t lose, is a bit specious. They weren’t facing the same electorates as moderate Democrats who lost. Right?
But let’s get back to the presidency. Look at the election map.
The midwest? Trump decimated the farm industry with nonsensical, ego-inflating trade wars, and yet, look at the damn map: Farm country for Trump!? Why didn’t farmers and ranchers flock to the Democrats like geese to a pond, especially after they’ve been serially abused for decades by Cargill, Monsanto, Tyson and big Dairy?
The South? Those good folks need more government assistance than we elites on the West Coast or in New England, right? Their textile mills are silent, furniture factories are dark, coal mines are shutting down, children are dying of fentanyl overdoses and they voted for Donald Trump! The president who gave tax breaks to CEO’s who sent the jobs overseas!
Seriously, Liberals!? I know we won’t soon be sharing a kale salad with French bread and Brie, even without COVID 19, but how in hell can you think you won this election on the power of your ideas? Keep it up and 2022 will be a disaster!
OH YEAH! You barely won even with Corona Virus in your corner! You couldn’t beat Donald Trump in a landslide with the blood of 250,000 Americans on his hands!?
Liberals, this election was not a victory for your side of the gym. You get that, don’t you?